Trump Attempts to use Jedi Mind Trick Not Working


(WASHINGTON) In a repeated effort to remove himself from negative attention associated with his dealings with the Ukraine, President Trump made his seventh attempt to use the Jedi Mind Trick on reporters, Democrats, and members of his impeachment inquiry panel.

“I made nooooo suuuuuuch caaaaaall” said the President after being presented with phone records and transcripts of a call with

Democratic Representative Jackie Speier appeared puzzled by the action, but then continued with her questions.

“Yes, yes you did,” replied Representative Speier.

“You’re thiiiiiinking of soooooomeoooone ellllllllse…..”, responded the President, moving his hands much faster.

“It’s right in front of… know what? Let’s take a ten minute recess,” the Representative sighed, immediately putting her head in her hands.

​Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. While uttering these words

in a low, sing-songy voice, the President waved his hands towards members of the inquiry panel.

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