Felicity Huffman Premieres New Persona: “Huff Dawg”

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(LOS ANGELES) In preparation for her upcoming incarceration for fraud charges, Felicity Huffman unveiled a new persona, “Huff Dawg”, as part of her preparation for her prison experience. 

“Shit’s be flyin’. This ain’t no ‘Sports Night’. Whut? WHUT?”, said Ms. Huffman, 56.

Dressed in colorful sportswear with expensive sunglasses hiding her eyes, Ms. Huffman repeatedly took a drink from a forty ounce bottle of malt liquor while addressing members of the press. 

“You come at da queen, you best not miss. You feel me?”, she inquired of reporters, several of whom nodded in agreement. “Time was that code was real. It ain’t like that no mo’. Nothin’ like that.”

“Dis a whole new housewife of DES. PER. ATION. BRRRAPP! STICKUM!”, echoed out over the subdivision she lives in with actor William Macy, who was seen standing in the background, repeated checking his phone.

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