Facebook To Begin Extracting Users’ Subconscious Thoughts

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MENLO PARK, CA –  Speaking at the annual Facebook Developer’s Conference, Mark Zuckerberg unveiled an exciting new development in digital advertising. To the delight of shareholders, Zuckerberg unveiled Facebook’s latest feature, which will allow him to extract the subconscious thoughts of all Facebook users, and ship them to thousands of corporations instantly. Speaking to a crowded and excited room of developers and investors, Zuckerberg described his passion for the new technology. “This is a big day for us” said Zuckerberg, we live in the sharing age, and now everything that our users think can, and will be shared with us, and our corporate partners, instantly, no matter how private or deeply personal it may be.” The new technology was met with feverish applause in the room, and many concerned thoughts from Facebook users watching at home. Zuckerberg denied our requests to elaborate on how the feature extracts the data, but told us that if users have any questions or concerns, they can consult the already updated, and binding Facebook terms and conditions.

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