Jane Fonda nixes new clothes to fight climate change


Actress and activist Jane Fonda announced she is fighting climate change by taking a bold and dramatic step – she will forgo purchasing any new clothes.

Fonda made the announcement last week while trying to get arrested in Washington, DC.

“We have 11 years left to save the earth, not a lot of time, but probably more time than I’ve got,” said the 81 year-old actress.  “Nonetheless, we all must step up and do our part.  For me, I will not buy any new clothes.  This may seem like a dramatic move on my part, but it’s really not.  You should see my closet.  There are enough clothes in there to keep every woman in Belize and Uruguay in exercise gear for decades.  I still have a lot of outfits from my workout videos, you know.”

Fonda went on to note that her new clothes boycott could have a major impact on climate change, given the amount of clothes she used to purchase annually.  She further noted that it will help save the wild lycra population, known to be thinning particularly in the American northwest and in Canada.

When asked if undergarments would also be included in her new clothing prohibition, she responded, “I have reached out to my legal counsel for a ruling on that. Plus, I need to find out if Depends are actually considered clothing.”

Director and activist Michael Moore commended Fonda on her decision and thanked her for joining the crowd.  “Jane is doing a great thing,” Moore said.  “She joins some of us who have been on this bandwagon for some time.  For the record, every piece of clothing I own pre-dates the Bush Administration…the first one.”

Annoying teenager and activist Greta Thunberg also attempted to praise Fonda by saying, “Where am I?  I think I’m still on the wrong continent.  Albuquerque?  I’m in Albuquerque?  What the hell is that?”

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