McDonald’s New Touchscreen Ordering System Will One Day Rule Us All


CHICAGO, IL—In an exciting technological advancement, that will one day lead to the enslavement of all man kind, McDonald’s will be adding new touchscreen ordering systems in thousands of their locations nationwide. The head of McDonald’s technology department, Rick Freeman issued a statement saying “McDonald’s is very excited about this technology that will cut down on expenses, wait time, and eventually lead to the downfall of humanity.” Customers had mixed reviews about the new system, such as one local McDonald’s customer Mary Lutter who expressed concerns about the machine’s impact on society “I just think it’s important to have that face to face interaction, and that we chose wisely when deciding what technological advancement will someday rule the planet.”  McDonald’s has assured it’s customers that for the time bing they will still be able to order food at the counter if they chose to, but that they will soon have no choice but to give in to the demands of the touchscreen ordering system, if they hope to be sparred. “It’s an exciting day for everyone at McDonald’s” said Freeman “We love our customers, and this new technology will make their lives easier, and our lives easier because we won’t have to pay so many employees, so eventually enslaving the human race is really a small price to pay.” At press time Burger King had unveiled their own touchscreen ordering system that is now humanity’s only hope for salvation. 

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