Trump accused of subverting US foreign policy


President Donald Trump has been accused of subverting the foreign policy of the United States, according to sources at the State Department.  Traditionally, foreign policy is set by the president.  However, the media and long-time civil servants believe it should be handled by somebody else.

State Department sources told The Fake Report that United States foreign policy is currently being driven by Leonard “Binky” Fusterburk, an intern to the assistant to the under-under secretary to the under secretary of Inter-Agency Global Affairs. He has been working at the State Department since September.

Fusterburk, a sophomore at H. Councill Trenholm State Technical College in Montgomery, Alabama, has no prior foreign policy experience.  When asked to comment, Fusterburk said, “I figured I’d just be delivering mail and getting coffee.  The folks here at the State Department drink a lot of coffee.  I mean a lot!  Then I get here and they want me to start bossing other countries around.”

Fusterburk said he applied for the internship because he would have otherwise had to take Algebra 201 this semester.  “I barely made it through freshman algebra,” he said.  “I really don’t want to ever see 8y-3x again.  I was told internships are easy.  Then I get here and I’m, like, in charge and stuff.”

He said he doesn’t understand why Trump keeps undoing things.  “My dad said he used to have a TV show or something.  I get that he’s, you know, the president now and everything, but my bosses get pretty mad at him,” he said.  “They say he just needs to get out of the way.  Who elected him anyway?”

Fusterburk is considering staying on at the State Department after his internship concludes in December, noting that it’s way easier than algebra.

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