COlUMBUS, OH — Local parents Amy and Ben Wilson, have done everything they can to bring up their 16 year old son, Sam Wilson, to be a devout believer in the power of the free market, but lately they feel like they’re just not getting through to him. The couple believes their son has just been going through the motions when they talk about investment portfolios, and is starting to feel like there’s no higher meaning to terms like supply and demand. Amy Wilson added, “We’ve done all the right things. Every Sunday we wake him up early to read from Atlas Shrugged, last summer we took him to see the Goldman Sachs office, and we always told him to only judge others by how much money they make, but it’s still not working.”
Recently the Wilsons grew so concerned about their son’s lack of faith in a system, that has created so much wealth and prosperity for such a small group of people, that they decided to sit him down, and really have a talk about faith, and the power of cutting regulations. Unfortunately, this only made things worst, as their son refused to listen, and just kept yelling about how we should be looking out for the poor, sick, and hungry. The Wilsons were so upset they completely forgot to bring up the power of trickle down economics, and how globalization has actually benefitted people who work in Nike sweatshops. At press time the Wilsons had completely lost hope after learning their son hopes to someday join the Peace Corps.