Suburban Dad Thrilled To Have So Much In Common With His Soon To Be Mass Shooter Son


NAPERVILLE, IL — Smiling broadly, at a neighborhood block party, area father Jim Preston bragged to his friends and peers about how much he and his soon to be mass shooter son have in common. To the delight of all the parents in attendance Preston told them how he and his son are constantly bonding over their shared affinity for edgy comedy, and are like two peas in a pod. Preston added “It’s amazing, I mean he’s almost as big of a Limbaugh fan as I am, although these days he seems to prefer Ben Shapiro, but I’m just glad we’ve got so much to talk about.” Preston continued to impress his acquaintances, who all felt they were worried their kids were being drawn away from traditional western values, by telling them how sometimes they even share khakis and polo shirts. Preston’s friend and neighbor Scott Wilson stated he wished that he was able to bond with his son more, but his son, who will never commit an act of mass terror, seems disgusted by his so called racist jokes, fondness for Tucker Carlson, or belief in a Muslim travel ban. Wilson added “Preston’s a lucky guy, I wish everyday my son would listen to my complaints about who really owns the media,  or at least watch the classic 80’s movie Soul Man with me.” At press time Preston and his son, had started their own book club and were loving The Bell Curve

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