Exclusive – CCT Feed of The Cell-to-Cell Call Between Ambassador Sondland and President Trump

Sondland testifies in impeachment hearing
Amb. Sondland answers questions during the third day of Trump impeachment hearings. PHOTO: CSPAN screenshot/McKafe

The Fake Report has had exclusive access to the closed circuit video feed taken during the cell to cell conversation between the U.S. Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland and U.S. president, Donald Trump.  The call took place while Sondland was enjoying a meal seated at an outside cafe in the heart of Kyiv, Ukraine. 

One of the oldest cities in Europe, Kyiv, the capitol of Ukraine, dates back to 1240 in its present form. In 1982, it celebrated its 1500 anniversary.  Lying on the Dnieper river, it is in the Northern part of Ukraine, significantly away from the hot war happening in the eastern areas of Crimea, Donbas and Donetsk (Donetsk, Don’t Tell being the code name for the on-going conflict among U.S agencies). 

Ukraine is a former Soviet Social Republic, and a still-developing European country that borders Russia to the east, Belarus to the north and Romania and Bulgaria to the west.  It can serve as a gateway to Europe, making it essential for Western European and Trans-Atlantic security. With an emerging economy, Ukraine is in the process of shaking off Soviet era concepts of corruption and graft.  The recent presidential elections were seen as a huge step west-ward toward a more European centered democracy.

“Ukraine is still wired like we’re all living the first Cold War.  As a country, it has not had the resources to complete sweep all Russian listening apparatus, posing a giant security threat to anyone willing to make an open air call about sensitive information,”  said former serviceman, who later worked in the Department of Homeland Security and is now a cable news analyst on national security and the intelligence community, desperately in need of a new stylist.  Seriously, dude a purple tie and pink shirt do not work.

“It’s astounding that Sondland would make this call, and that Trump would take it.”

Based on the feed we saw, here are the events as they unfolded: 

  • Sondland sits at the open air table, orders pirogies smothered in butter and onion, while sipping some horilka or vodka, it is not clear. 
  • He then pulls out his cell, and begins a call through to Donald Trump’s personal cell phone from his personal cell phone. 
  • As an older couple at the next table could be seen arguing, and heard repeatedly saying, “What, I can’t hear you?,” Sondland can be seen immediately turning up the volume on his phone.
  • After a gentleman to Sondland’s left stirs his coffee six times to the right, six times to the left, and the six times to the right again, the ambassador can be seen pulling the phone away from his ear, and noises squawking from the phone can be heard, even over the shoddy audio of the CCT feed.
  • As a woman at the table to Sondland’s right tells a server, “My name is Карен (Karen in Russian), and I want to speak to a manager, after Biden my time” he puts the phone on speaker, and places it suspiciously close to the extraordinary large centerpiece in the middle of his table. During all this, Sondland continues to discuss the aid package that will be released once Ukraine president Voldymor Zelensky announces the start of the investigation into former U.S. Vice President Joe Biden.
    Squawking from his phone continues. 
  • Sondland assures Trump – our crack team of audio experts have confirmed that it was Trump on the other end plus Sondland confirmed this in his testimony – that Zelensky loves his ass.  He would later testify that he and Trump communicated through a lot of swear words. “I had occasional access when he chose to take my calls, sometimes he would, sometimes he wouldn’t”, Sondland would later testify. 
  • Sondland would also later testify, “well I have unclassified conversations over cell all the time.  The President was aware I was calling on my cell.” 

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