Washington and Lee University students demand removal of namesakes on diplomas

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Law students at Washington and Lee University are demanding that pictures of the school’s namesakes, George Washington and Robert E. Lee, be removed from their diplomas.  They claim this is an effort to promote diversity at the school as well as making them feel smug and superior.

Third-year law student Milford Bumskin said, “We hear that Washington and Lee were white men of some note at one time.  I’ve kind of forgotten exactly what for, but I’m pretty sure it’s bad now.  I think they were climate change deniers.”

The university is seriously reviewing the students’ petition and it is considering other options, perhaps offering pictures of other duos in place of Washington and Lee on diplomas.  Among those under considerations are:

Hall and Oats

Lil Peep and Lil Tracy

Jonathan and Drew Scott (HGTV’s Property Brothers)

Sonny and Cher (minus Sonny because he was, you know, a Republican)

Thelma and Louise

The Muppets Statler and Waldorf

Many students seem particularly excited about the Statler and Waldorf possibility. ANitA Bryantte, a micro social justice sustainability major said, “Sure they’re supposedly old and white, but they are made of felt and have no genocidal history that we know of, although we don’t really know what their history is.”

Although seemingly lacking in any actual felt herself, Bryantte added, “I think I can speak for nearly all in the FQ (felt questioning) community when I say that we are a severely underrepresented community on campus.  Besides, this could really enhance the diplomas for those students who will actually go out and seek jobs after graduation.”  She claims to know of two students who will look for employment after graduation.  The rest, she said, will do what they learned to do in school, wallow in their own self-pity.

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