Hollywood to boycott self


In a surprise move, several Hollywood stars announced on Tuesday they will make no more movies until Donald Trump is impeached.  This came as a surprise to many who were not aware that Hollywood still made movies.

Jane Fonda, who last appeared in the critically acclaimed movies Book Club and Monster In-Law, said she is sorry to disappoint her fans – both of them – but this is a step she and her fellow artists are prepared to take.

Robert De Niro echoed Fonda and said, “I will not make another movie as long Trump is in the White House, unless my wife spends too much money. Then I’ll probably be making The Intern II.  I try like hell to keep her off of Rodeo Drive, but, my God, can she spend a lot. But, this isn’t about money, it’s about Trump. Well, it’s kind of about money.”

Brad Pitt, Leonardo Di Caprio and Samuel L. Jackson were among other Hollywood stars also on hand to lend their support.  While noting his disdain for Trump, Jackson wondered, “But, I can still do commercials, right?  There’s a ton of money to be made in commercials. I mean a ton.”

Some are concerned that this will affect important movies that will now not get made, like the Greta Thunberg biopic.  “I’m too old by a couple of years to believably play a 16 year-old climate change activist anyway,” Fonda said.  “It’s probably better suited for Scarlett Johansson.”

De Niro added, “I just saw my Visa statement, I’ll do it.  $1,200 for a scarf for God’s sake.  Can she just stay out of the stores once in a while?  Christ!”

It’s too early to tell how this boycott will affect the Hollywood holiday box office as most of the movies set for holiday release have been completed for months.  Fonda noted that she doesn’t care as she is not in any movies coming out soon.  She said, “I thought I was going to get a role in the Little Women remake, but Meryl Streep got it instead.  She gets all the good parts.  Hey, why isn’t she here?”

Di Caprio also noted, “I was up for the same role.  What is it with her?”

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