GOP Senators Seek To Hide Upcoming Legislation

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Republicans in the Senate announced that in the interest of transparency they’re planning on taking up all upcoming legislation out of public view and behind closed doors A news release left on a bench outside the Senate Chamber said in part that ‘the move was needed to avoid the never ending and time consuming distractions of public comments, unnecessary facts and dissenting opinions’.  

Said a GOP spokesperson, “Despite a heavy schedule of lobbyist dinners and extended holiday recess, the Republican Party is determined to show the American people how government can work when left alone. For example, we’ve done a marvelous job confirming judicial appointments regardless of their qualifications.  Now, in order to do that with legislation, the Senate will shorten the process of Advice and Consent to just consent to anything requested by the White House.”

The Senate, under Majority Leader Mitch “The Grim Reaper” McConnell, has stalled or killed nearly every bill that Congress has sent up over the past year. With the implementation of a more streamlined process McConnell is “expected to expedite legislation that the Party determines to be in the best interest of some of the American people.

“The decision to deny the press and our Democratic colleagues an opportunity to review legislation before it’s passed is simply good politics and is protected by the Constitution,” the source added.

When asked by a reporter where in the Constitution it was written that the Senate had the right to govern without public review the spokesperson responded, “You’re so smart, you figure it out.”

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