Pelosi to Senate: Just Kidding


One day after the House voted to impeach President Trump, Nancy Pelosi said she will send over the Articles of Impeachment to the Senate or maybe not.

Pelosi started a brief press conference by saying, “You people didn’t think we were serious about this impeachment stuff?  Sure, we impeached Trump, but it’s not like we were really doing anything of substance.  As the Speaker of the House, it’s my job to see to it that this chamber does not do anything of substance.”

She then added, “If we were really serious, would I have worn black?  It’s not my color. I’m not sure what my color is?  I need to check with my pollster.”

Pelosi acknowledged that the whole impeachment process has been an unmitigated disaster for the Democrats, noting that when constituents think of disasters, they think of Democrats.  “We did not want to disappoint our constituents,” she said.

When asked which managers she would send over to the Senate with the Articles of Impeachment she suggested former San Francisco Giants skipper Bruce Bochy as he knows something about managing and has a lot of free time on his hands now.

Pelosi then abruptly stated she did not want to talk about impeachment anymore.  She said, “Sure it was historic and somber and all that, but I don’t want to discuss it any further.  Can we just forget the whole thing?  Let’s talk about something else, like what the press corps will be getting me for Christmas.  I like that Peloton bike thing.  Hint, hint.”

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