Friday, July 1, 2022
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Joe Biden kicked off his Full of Malarkey campaign tour in Iowa this week.  The intent was to draw interest in his lackluster campaign by having Biden sing a medley of his hits, including Born in Scranton, PA. At a campaign stop on Thursday just as Biden completed the final chorus of the song...
Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden announced today that he is changing his son’s name to Background Check.  Acknowledging that while he can name his son Hunter, he can’t make him a hunter. While recognizing that hunters actually use guns, Biden wanted to make a strong statement in support for limits on firearms. “Unlike so many Republican...
Republicans in the Senate announced that in the interest of transparency they're planning on taking up all upcoming legislation out of public view and behind closed doors A news release left on a bench outside the Senate Chamber said in part that ‘the move was needed to avoid the never ending and time consuming distractions of public...
A group of eminent scientists, physicists, mathematicians and ethicists gathered recently to discuss end of the world and identified some of the more likely scenarios.  In an article in Scientification magazine entitled Adios, People! Pick Your Poison, the authors laid out various scenarios and the likelihood any would occur to bring about the end of civilization.  The authors started with...
In a surprise move, several Hollywood stars announced on Tuesday they will make no more movies until Donald Trump is impeached.  This came as a surprise to many who were not aware that Hollywood still made movies. Jane Fonda, who last appeared in the critically acclaimed movies Book Club and Monster In-Law, said she is sorry to disappoint her fans...
Law students at Washington and Lee University are demanding that pictures of the school’s namesakes, George Washington and Robert E. Lee, be removed from their diplomas.  They claim this is an effort to promote diversity at the school as well as making them feel smug and superior. Third-year law student Milford Bumskin said, “We...
A still unpublished study is said to show that the massive inbreeding that began at the dawn of man has polluted the entire gene pool and is the principal cause for the human race’s dysfunctional existence.  Until now it was believed that with millions of people spread out over thousands of years the ‘crazy’ would have...
Donald Trump, the dimwitted Dipshit-in-Chief, came out strongly Tuesday night at another one of his ego-stroking rallies against any and all effort to change the name of the Thanksgiving holiday, despite there being absolutely no evidence to do so in the United States. The sun-downing senior citizen made the remarks during another...
(BURBANK): On the heels of the runaway success of “The Mandalorian”, Disney called a hastily-organized press conference today to announce several new “Star Wars” related programs to premiere next year.  “It’s going to be a great year for the Force!” exclaimed Disney CEO Robert Iger, “You remember when Chewbacca yelled at that little droid...
(WASHINGTON, D.C.): Frankie “Boom Boom” Cosentino, an associate to former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, appeared today before members of Congress as part of the impeachment hearings of President Trump. While not directly offering new information on Giuliani’s involvement with agents from the Ukraine, Mr. Cosentino stated that the hearings “looked real good” and “must have cost...
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